My Resume: Golf Ball Stand. Hallmark. High School Drop Out. HOA Management. Oral Surgical Assistant. Human Resources. Technology Sales. Director of Sales. Private Chef. Foodpreneur.

SO MANY new faces here! I thought I’d recycle some words about who I be so you know the ridiculousness you’ve joined.

East Coast born, West Coast grown.

Unless I am being chased by zombies, running a marathon sounds painful but I will spend 6 hours on a tennis court any day. Which brings up a topic of debate, can zombies run?

Bison meat hits my plate 3x a week and I will never say no to a glass of bourbon, whiskey or scotch. #idontcareifitspaleo

I’ve legitimately and successfully crashed a wedding. I was ONCE a hand model for an Al Gore project. I used do that whole 9-5 thing and now I do the “80 hours a week to avoid working 40 for someone else” thing. Seems to be working out.
I think about that Scarface line a lot: “You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be.” Pfffft, #challengeaccepted.
I can be at baseball game, a museum, whole foods or lost in the middle of no where and still be enjoying myself.

That’s what she said.
Yes, that is a meat tenderizer that looks like brass knuckles in my hand. I’m VERY serious about not being so serious.

I think it’s super fun that you come to play with me on Instagram and I thank you from the bottom of my PHAT heart for your support, your likes, your shares, your use of #eatplaycrush and your guts to be yourself too.
Half of this bio used to be part of an OKCupid profile, btw. ?

Now, tell me a little about YOU.