My Practice: Effective Communication

Rainy Sunday Shakshuka, Lazy Edition. ? Fresh Tomatoes. Tomato Paste. Onions. Garlic. Jalapeño. Cumin. Cinnamon. Cloves. Cayenne. Cooked in Duck Fat & EVOO. Topped with Cilantro. Green Onions. And Lakonia Seasoning.
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Paired with a strong brew of anise tea + black seed oil, annnnd some thoughts: When I find myself in disagreement with another person, or if I can sense they feel unheard, I like go through a 3 question exercise, taking turns. The goal is to create an actionable understanding, balance, and deeper connection between two walking, breathing, idea-forming humans.
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Note: It doesn’t always work and is truly effective when both sides are down, obvs. However, allow me to share it anyway below.
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First, I ask the question: What is your issue? Pretty self explanatory. I ask them to try to be as specific as possible.
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Then, I ask the question: What is your ask? After they share their issue/s, I ask them what I can do to help and/or understand them better, etc.
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And finally, I ask the question: What’s your offer? They’ve stated their rub/position. They’ve made a constructive request, whether it’s tangible or emotional, we’ve had dialogue between the questions. Now, I want to know what they can offer in return to help bridge the gap between us.
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I know it may sound overly simplistic, but for me, it’s effective. I used to struggle with communication and had a wicked temper. This approach allows me to really hear someone out, get clear on what they want that is within my capabilities, and it shows me what they are able to do to meet me, not necessarily halfway, but where I fall short in the exchange.
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K, back to my tea. Already finished my Shakshuka. I gotta get ready to go taste-taste some cold brew formulas for a local business. May you be heard and hear with an open heart in return. ✌?#eatplaycrush

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Mary